Do you write the absolute truth or do you share some watered down censored version of the truth? Is it due to your own self-consciousness or is it because you know who is in the audience?
I have started many blogs in the past, anonymous ones and ones were I knew the audience. Where do you find a balance? I miss writing anonymously, it felt freeing but then I also hated the anonymity of it. Not being able to have conversations about what you post, write. Not being able to share feelings that get brought up in some real raw writing.
I have secrets that just can’t be released and secrets I want to tell but should consider my audience before doing so. I hate doing it to myself. Sometimes it is that hesitation, that self censorship that buts me in funks of not writing.
I see it in others writings too, the hesitation, the control. That sentence that is missing words, emotions and thoughts. Is it intentional or subconscious? Why is it so hard to tell some secrets that you know will help heal you? Because in doing so you know it could potentially harm someone close to you. Well that is my reasoning anyway. I have close friends and acquaintances that know more about me than most of my family. On the other hand I have family that has spent years hiding secrets that has caused more harm than good.
Maybe it is time for me to start another anonymous blog, for myself, not for you. Somewhere I can be completely uncensored but I will be anonymous to those that do not know my story. Many writers use a nom deplume so why should this be any different?
Your tribe is not a group of people just like you, it is a group of people that compliment each other, a group of people whose strengths & weaknesses differ so much from each other, that together, you become one.
I know it has been a while since I blogged but there is a perfectly good explanation for it.
It is called LIFE… Yes I do have one, sometimes, ok on the odd occasion. Well a lot has been happening in my life right now including learning to research and write up Dark, New and Full Moon Rituals as well as Celtic Sabbat Rituals for my local Pagan Community. It is a really great learning tool and I am finding connections all along the way.
So far I have (with the help of another Pagan) written up a Dark/New Moon Imbolc Ritual that was 4 pages (940 words) long. I have written up a 5 page (1640 word) document on the August 2016 Full Moon which also includes a Lunar Eclipse and Moon in Aquarius. I have nearly completed a September 2016 Full Moon Lunar Eclipse and also have started researching and writing up a document for Ostara that will include activities for kids too.
A lot of the information is aimed at the general Pagan denomination in the local community as there are so many diverse paths within the group we what to cater for most and the few should be able to swap in their personal deity with ease.
I have had some of my writing published in a community magazine which made me giggle and blush with pride. I also hunted down some of my old poetry and another short story that I started many years ago but then let life get in the way (again).
The front door was open and there was a smell of men’s cologne. It was not a cheap cologne either, but one that I will remember forever.
I walked through to the living area. It was there that I saw a strange man. He was tall, slim and unshaven. I did not go near him. I walked on towards the kitchen where my mother laid in a puddle of bright red blood. She had been shot in the head, like the man in the living area.
I could not move and I could not cry. I just stood there in disbelief, knowing that I would never hear my mother’s sweet, reassuring voice saying ‘I love you’ again.
– Donna Astill
I have been busily coming up with ideas for our community here in the Southern Hemisphere as well as being active in other groups also. I try to keep my blog as neutral as possible as I see no need for politics within the Asatru/Odinist community at all and besides this blog is about my journey not anyone else’s.
I was unwell thanks to the sharing caring nature of those in my house. Why do germs like to spread only one or two at a time… Why not just go wham bam thank you ma’am on the whole town in one shot… Give the health dept heads something to scratch their heads over….
What else have I been up to since I blogged last? Oh yes that’s right I attended ‘An Evening with Spirit’ with Alison Burman Psychic Medium. It was a wonderful night and a great experience. I had never attended an event like that before and I found Alison to be genuine and real (no sparkles and glitter, just her). She did have a message for me which I will actually keep to myself, but there was words that only myself and the person communicating through/with Alison would know and no-one else could ever even guess.
I did find that one person expressed during the interval that they did not believe Alison at all and it did irritate me as there was only limited tickets available and I know people who missed out. Oh well there are always going to be sceptics that attend these events in the hope that they are convinced of something.
I attended an amazing friend’s birthday party, although as I was still recovering I opted to not celebrate with ethanol based beverages but stuck with water. I revealed to mutual friends that I will be relocating at the beginning of 2017 but that is still a few months away yet. I sat down and had a good conversation with a very new ex-anti-feminist who I had had a very heated debate with a few weeks earlier about feminism and the different levels of crazy some feminists can get.
The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. – Pat Robertson
I found a new therapist because really we all should be seeing a therapist of some sort as we are all pretty crazy at the end of the day. I am really happy with her, she gets me, she is not interested in finding a ‘quick fix’ but working through the actual problems I have. It is hard to find the right fit when you have been looking for over 2 decades and don’t pretend you’re not crazy yourself… You read my crazy ramblings don’t you 😉
I have attended three Meet & Greets for the local Pagan community in three separate locations around the region to meet some more of the community members which was great and I learnt a lot about other people’s beliefs and paths. Remember the that not all ‘Witches are Pagan and not all Pagans are Witches’. It was great to be able to get out of the house for the day and chat with like-minded people.
I know I sound like I don’t have time to stop and sleep, well I assure you I do and this morning was the first time in ages that I woke without feeling exhausted… How you ask?
Well, I had my very first Shamanic Journeying experience last night. It was just an introduction class to help find your power animal but it was still an extraordinary experience. I was fortunate that the other attendees failed to show so I had the Shaman all to myself to listen to and ask questions of. It was a journey to the lower world to seek out my Power Animal. It was a very personal journey and my animal was one that I never expected but it did make a huge amount of sense after thinking about the direction my spiritual path has been taking me on.
My animal is the Stag and the connection I had was truly one that I will not forget. It was surreal and breathtaking, calm and exhilarating all at once. To communicate with such a majestic being in that circumstance was… I just have no words that can truly express what it was like. I met some other animals on my journey but none that spoke to me in such a way that made my head spin (in a good way) and my heart pound like my life was just starting. I am so grateful to Misha for giving me the opportunity to experience that journey with her and for the conversation and insights we discussed afterwards.
If you have not yet found your Power Animal or had a Shamanic Journeying experience I highly recommend you find yourself a Shamanic Practitioner that you feel comfortable with and give yourself that experience. You will not regret it and it will change you forever.
Well my crazies, I think I have rambled enough for one night and this was only meant to be a catch-up post so that you all know I am still alive and it isn’t some random bot re-blogging posts on my behalf… I am alive, totally freaking alive, and living life one foot after the other.
The purpose of Knowledge is to create a doorway which leads to the Truth
― Misha Hoo